RIWAYA NILAMBE APA~1

<div class="_5pbx userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="js_r"> <br /> Utangulizi wa Story,,,,<br /> Nilipojiunga na elimu ya Sekondari nilikuwa mshamba sana na mambo ya mapenzi mimi wala nilikuwa siyajui na wala sikuwa na mawazo hayo.Nilipokuwa na wenzangu niliwasikia wakipiga stor kuhusu wasichana, na mimi nilikuwa nasapot tu ila kiukweli sikuwa najua chochote wala sikuwa na mazoea na wasichana wa pale darasani na ata wao walitambua hilo.Siku moja tulikuwa kwenye foleni ya kupata chai mda wa saa nne,shile ilikuwa ya kutwa ila saa nne tulikuwa tunakunywa chai pale shuleni.Nilichukua chai, nikawa naenda kukaa ila kabla sijafanya hivyo kuna dada alikuja na kunipamia kitendo kilichofanya chai yangu kunimwagikia na vipande vyangu vya mkate vikaloa.nilipomwanga­lia yule dada hasira zilinipanda kwa sababu dada yule alikuwa anatokea kidato cha pili sasa humu kwenye darasa la kidato cha kwanza amefuata nini?<br /> Nilimwangalia kwa hasira mda huo shati langu limeloa chai.kabla sijaongea chochote alinishika mkono akanipeleka mpaka nyuma ya darasa mda huo nina hasira kweli yani yule dem niliogopa kumpiga kwa sababu ni form two yani angekuwa form one kama mimi ningeshamtwanga ngumi ya kichwa.tulipofika nyuma ya darasa aliachia mkono wangu alafu akaniambia,<br /> "mambo.najua nimekuudhi na nimekuleta huku ili kama ni kunipiga unipige tu mtu asione.naomba nisamehe "<br /> "nitakusamehe sawa.ila nitakaaje mpaka jioni na sijaja na sweta shati langu umenimwagia chai"<br /> "usihofu nitakusaidia.Aliponi­ambia maneno hayo akaenda darasan kwao akaja akiwa amevaa sweta.nilijua anataka kunipa lile sweta ila haikuwa hivyo kwani aliponifikia alinishika mkono akaniambia "twende hivi"<br /> aliongea dada yule uku anatangulia mimi nikawa namfuata uku nimeshika shati langu nalivuta kwa mbele ili lisiniguse mwili kwani ilikuwa inanikera kwa jinsi ilivyokuwa limelowa chai,Tulifika mahali akaingia kwenye mahindi ya shule.nilisita kidogo kumfuata mpaka aliponiita uku ananionyesha ishara kwa mkono kuwa nimfuate.Tuliingia katikati ya mahindi mpaka nikawa nikiangalia nyuma sioni shule.Dada yule alisimama akavua sweta lake akataka kunipa ila kabla sijapokea akaibania kwenye mapaja yake kisha akavua shati lake na kunikabidhi niivae,yeye akabaki na kikata mikono kilichozuia matiti yake tu mimi nikawa nakodolea macho kifua cha binti yule yani alikuwa mweupe kitovu kimetoboka kiaina matiti yamekaa vizuri kiuno kimekata kama nyigu,kwa mbali mate yakaanza kunitoka ukizingatia hakukuwa na mtu kule kwenye mahindi yani ilibaki kidogo nimrukie,<br /> "vaa hilo shati langu nipe lako nikakufulie ntakuletea kesho."aliongea kwa kunong'ona baada ya kuona nimepokea shati silivai zaidi ya kumtolea macho,<br /> "hapana dada alafu wewe?<br /> "usijali kuhusu mimi we vua hilo shati lako nipe"Nilivua nikamkabidhi mimi nikavaa lake,Yeye akavaa sweta bila shati.lile shat langu akawa amelishika mkononi.<br /> "naitwa Rita.wewe je"<br /> "naitwa Sparner"<br /> Nimefurah kukufaham ila siumenisamehe"<br /> "ndio"<br /> Usiku sikulala yani nilikuwa nakumbuka kifua na umbo la yule dada ile picha ilikuwa inanijia mara kwa mara,<br /> Siku zilienda tukazoeana na Rita ila shati langu hakunipa yani ilikuwa kama tumebadilishana.Siku­ moja ijumaa ilikuwa siku ya mpira pale shuleni yani kuna team ya shule nyingine inakuja kuchuana na shule yetu.Wakati mpira unaendelea Rita alinifuata akaniambia<br /> "twende nikakupe shati lako"<br /> alishika mkono tukawa tunakatiza pembeni ya uwanja uku wanafunzi wakituangalia.<br /> Safari yetu iliishia kwenye nyumba moja nzur sana ambayo haikuwa mbali sana na shule kisha tukaingia ndani.<br /> "usijali apa ndio kwetu wazaz wangu hawapo huwa wanarudi jioni hivyo kuwa na amani"<br /> Nillitikia nikataka kukaa kwenye sofa pale sebuleni ila kabla sijakaa Rita akaniambia<br /> "usikae hapo.njoo uku chumbani nikupe shati lako na wewe unipe langu alafu turudi shule"<br /> alitangulia chumbani na mimi nikawa namfuata uku nina wasiwasi kidogo kuhusu hili shati la kupeana chumbani,Tulipofika chumbani nilikuwa nashanga shangaa uzuri wa nyumba ile ila nilipoangalia ukutani kuna picha niliiona ambayo ilinishangaza kidogo, macho yangu bado yalizid kuangalia ile picha kwani nilishindwa kuielewa hii mambo inakuaje,,.....<br /> Ni utangulizi wa Story mpya inayokwenda kwa jina la<br /> "NILAMBE APA"</div>

RIWAYA NILAMBE APA~1

Utangulizi wa Story,,,, Nilipojiunga na elimu ya Sekondari nilikuwa mshamba sana na mambo ya mapenzi mimi wala nilikuwa siyajui na wal...

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RIWAYA: She is My Wife- Sehemu ya 3 & 4

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgliJYKX-lLS31CEFKd0stRPZcQcqJGl0oqjTpdFf4vSHkab4t1aXcB2HAYRcM1H22_AtVQBIC4UuiGnHqpodaiS8FEHLPZHcZ9kd6NuoXvAu1LF-Ry48iiUCqptu6k3tKA3op6Ai5gYqPm/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgliJYKX-lLS31CEFKd0stRPZcQcqJGl0oqjTpdFf4vSHkab4t1aXcB2HAYRcM1H22_AtVQBIC4UuiGnHqpodaiS8FEHLPZHcZ9kd6NuoXvAu1LF-Ry48iiUCqptu6k3tKA3op6Ai5gYqPm/s1600/1.jpg" /></a></b></span></span></div><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Mtunzi : EDDAZARIA G.MSULWA</b></span></span><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="more"></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="background-color: yellow;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">ILIPOISHIA</span></span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hakikisheni huyu dada nina lala naye usiku wa leo sawa”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Muntar aliwaamrisha wapambe wake na wakamtii na mmoja wao akanyanyuka kwenda kumfatwa Agnes kwenye eneo la kuuzi vinywaji ili kuzungumza ombi la bosi wake analo lihitaji</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: yellow;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">ENDELEA </span></span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Habari yako dada?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Kijana wa Muntar alimsalima Agnes ambaya kwa haraka akaliachia tabasamu lake mdomoni na kuufanya uso wake kuzidi kunawiri kwa uzuri</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Salama mamo vipi?” Agnes alizungumza kwa sauti nyororo ya kuvutia hadi muhudumu kiume wa vinywaji akaguna</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Salama.....kwa jina mimi ninaitwa Kibopa na yule pale alavalia cheni nyingi ni bosi wangu anaitwa Muntari”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Aahaa nashukuru kuwafahamu,Samahani kaka ninaomba unipatie Red’s mbili za baridi kiasi”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Muhudumu mpe katon nzima pesa nitalipa mimi?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Jamani kaka yangu mimi sio mnywaji sana”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ahaa usijali nyingine unaweza kunywa leo au hata kesho”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Asante sana”</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Muhudumu akamkabidhi Agnes katoni ya kinywaji alicho muagizia na kibopa akatoa pesa na kumlipia muhudumu.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sasa sister kama huto jali ninaomba namba yako ya simu”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Agnes bila wasiwasi akamtajia Kibopa namba yake ya simu,wakaagana ana Agnes akarudi sehemu alipo Rahab</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Jamaa ameshaingia mkenge sasa kazi ni moja sawa”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hapo ndipo ninakupendea Ag”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Chezea mimi wewe,kumbe mtu ukiwa na kalio kubwa nalo linasaidia”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Wakacheka na kufungua vinywaji na kuanza kunywa taratibu.Muntar akakabidhiwa namba na Kibopa na akaipiga na Agenes akaipokea na kama kawaida na sauti yake nyororo aliyobarikiwa kutoka mbinguni akazungumza</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Nani mwenzangu?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ukigeuka upande wako wa kushoto utaniona nimevaa shati jeupe na cheni za dhahabu”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Agnes akageuka na kumfanya Muntar kupunga mkono akimuashiria kuwa ni yeye ndiye aliye mpigia simu</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Mrembo nakuomba basi uje kujumuika name hapa?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Naona aibu labda nije na mwezangu”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hilo tuu hakuna tatizo ni wewe tuu”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sawa ninakuja”</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Agnes akakata simu na kumtazama Rahab kwa pamoja wakatabasamu na wakasimama na kuanza kutembea kwa mwendo wa maringo na kupishwaviti na wapambe wa Muntar kisha wakakaa</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">                                                                       ***</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Dokta Wiliama akawashusha kwenye gari Anna,Halima na Fety mbali kidogo na hotel ya Serena huku kila mmoja simu yake ikiwa na salio la kutosha pamoja na picha ya Karim Yussuf kijana mwenye umri mdogo ila anasifika sana kuwa na utajiri mkubwa kutokana na Sheli za mafuta anazo zimiliki kila kona ya mikoa ya Tanzania.Kila mmoja akaingia Hotelini kwa muda wake na kuelekea kuketi katika upande wake ila kwa pamoja wakawa na mawasiliano ya ujumbe mfupi wa meseji.Kutokana ni muda wa jioni hawakuwa na papara kwani watu wengi bado hawakuwa wameingia Hotelini kuendelea na starehe zao.Macho ya Fety yakatua kwa jamaa anayeingia kwenye  mlango wa kuingilia akiwa ameongozana na mwanamke mrembo</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">{Nimemuona}</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Fety akausamba ujumbe kwa wezake ambao wapo maeneo ya tofauti kwenye hoteli na taratibu simu yake akaichomeka kwenye suruali yake na kuendelea kumtazama Karim ambaye moja kwa moja aka anaelekea sehemu yenye milango ya lifti zinazo kwenda juu  na kushuka chini,Kutokan-a na Lifti kutumika ikamlazimu Karimu na mpenzi wake kusimama kwa muda kuzisubiria.Kwa haraka Fety akasimama na kupiga hatua za haraka kabla hajafika sehemu alipo Karimu,lifti ambayo wanaisubiria ikafunguaka,Karim na mpenzi wake wakingia ila kabla haijajifunga Fety akawahi kuizuia na kuingia</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Habari zenu?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Salma”</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Karimu kutokana na kutokuwa na aibu akaanza kumshika shika mpenzi wake na kuchezeana katika sehemu zao nyeti.Mcho ya Fety yakawangalia kwa umakini kisha akayahamishia masho yake kwenye kamera mbili za ulinzi zilizopo ndani ya lifti kabla hajafanya kitu chochote akastukia lifti ikisimama hii ni baada ya mpenzi wa Karimu kuminya kitufe cha kuisimamisha lifti.Kufuma na kufumbua Fety akastukia ngumi kutoka kwa mpenzi wa Karim ikitua kwenye shavu lake na kumsfanya kuweweseka kasha akaanza kuikwepa mikono inayoimjia mwilini mwake kutoka kwa Karimu na mpenzi wake Shamsa mwenye asili ya kiarabu.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">                                                                           **</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Karimu na Shamsa wanaasili ya Oman japo wanauraia wa nchi zote mbili Tanzania na Oman,japo watu wengi waliwaona machoni mwao wanadhani ni watu wema hii ni kutokana na jinsi wanavyo jitoa katika shughuli mbali mbali za kijamii na mara nyingi huwa wanawasaidia wasio jiweza kila siku ya Ijumaa na jumamosi nje ya jumba lao lililopo maeneo ya Mbezi beach.Japo wanautajri mkubwa wa magari ya kifahari,masheli,maduka na mahoteli ya kifahari ila  bado hawaridhiki na utajiri huo na wanaendelea kufanya kazi za haramu ili kuzidi kuuongeza utajiri mara dufu.Jambo la kuua kwao ni sawa na mtu kumchinja kuku siku ya sikuku.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Hadi wakati huu Serikali ya Tanzania inashindwa kutambua ni jinsi gani wanaweza kuwatia nguvuni Karimu na mpenzi wake wakiwa katika kidhibitisho kitakacho wawezesha kuwastaki katika mahakama kuu ya Tanzania na kuwatupilia jela.Kila mbinu ambazo serikali waliitumia wakajikuta wakishindwa hii ni baadhi ya viongozi wasio waaminifu kuwapenyezea siri Karim na Shamsa  na hujipanga upya katika kuwatoroka askari.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Amri ya kuwaua watu waote wanaoshindikana kukamatika na kirahisi ilitolewa ma raisi tena kwa siri kubwa na watu walio husishwa katika kazi hiyo ni Dokta William na Mkuu mstaafu wa jeshi bwana Clinton Tony ambao wote ni miongoni mwa watu wa karibu sana wa raisi na mara nyingi humshauri riasi katika maswala mengi ya kukabiliana na ugaidi hii ni kutokana na ujuzi wao katika maswala ya kigaidi</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Pasipo wao kujua Agnes,Anna,Rahab,Fetty na Halima wanatumiwa na serikali kisiri na kwaimani yao wanatambua kuwa mtu anaye waagiza kazi hiyo ni dokta Williama ambaye amewafundisha mbinu nyingi za kigadi ili kupambana na magaidi wanao itesa serikali ya Tanzania pamoja na jeshi la polisi.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">***********</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Fetty anajipanga vizuri na kuanza kupambana nao kufa na kupona kutokana na ujuzi mkubwa wa kukabiliana na adui anafanikiwa kumpiga Shamsa ngumi kadhaa sehemu ya shingo na kumfanya apate wenge linalo mkalisha chini huku machoni mwake akiona nyota nyota nyingi.Karimu anashangaa kukutana na msichana jasiri anaye vumilia makonde ya mazito kutoka kwake na kwa haraka anamisha kitufe na lifti inaanza kwenda juu huku akiendelelea kuyapangua mateke ya Fetty kwa kutimia mikono yake iliyo komaa.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Lifti inafunguka gorofa ya tano na Karimu anajirusha nje kabla Fetty hajapiga hatua anastukia akishikwa mguu na kuvutwa chini na Shamsa na kuangukia uso na kumshuhudia Karimu akichanganya miguu kwa kasi kubwa na kupolelea anapo pajua mwenyewe.Shamsa akamkalia kwa haraka Fetty mongoni na kuanza kumvuta nywele huku akijaribu kukipigisha kichwa cha Fetty chini.Kwa nguvu zake zote Fetty akajikaza mwili wake kuanzia juu hadi chini na kujinyanyua kwa nguvu hadi akasimama ila Shamsa akaendelea kumng’angania mgongoni huku mkono wake ukiwa umeikaba kwa nguvu zake zote shingo ya Fetty.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">                                                                                   ***</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Simu za Fetty,Halima na Anna zina Software ambayo kila mmoja wao anapo kwenda ni lazima simu zao ziingize ujumbe katika simu za wezao kuwa ni sehemu gani alipo mmoja wao.Anna akampigia simu Halima na kumpa taarifa Anna wakutate katika milango ya kiingilia kwenye lifti</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Anna,Fety yupo kwenye matatizo ninavyohisi kama unaweza kuiona simu yako inavyoonyesha kuwa yupo eneo maoja  tuu kwa zaidi ya dakika kumi sasa”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Location inaonyesha yupo gorofa namba tano”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sasa tujigawe,wewe pita kwenye ngazi na mimi nitumie lifti”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sawa”</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Halima akaingia kwenye lifti na kuminya kitufe cha gorofa ya tano,huku alima naye akaanza kuzipandisha ngazi kwa haraka kuelekea juu gorofa ya tano japo ni ndefi ila akajikata kutembea kwa mwendo wa kukimbia</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">                                                                                     ***</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Kwa haraka wazo lililo mjia Karimu ni kushuka kwa kupitia ngazi kuepukana na kukutana na Fetty ambaye tayari alisha mzidi ujanja na maarifa ya kila aina.Karimu akaanza kushusha kwenye ngazi huku akikimbia na kutazama tazama juu kama Fetty akamfwata ajue ni jinsi gani ya kuongeza juhudi za kukimbia.Macho ya Anna yakamshuhudia jinsi Karimu anavyoshuka kwa kasi huku hasho jingi  likimwagika na shati lake likiwa limejikunja kunja kama limetafunwa na ng’ombe mwenye njaa kali,Anna akapunguza mwendo na hadi Karimu anamfikia kwa ustadi mkubwa wa hali ya juu akampiga teke la miguu Karimu na kumfanya aanguke vibaya na kuanza kubingiria kwenye ngazi akielekaea chini akitoa kelele kali za vilio.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">                                                                          ***</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Fetty akaanza kuishiwa na pumzi mwilini mwake kutokana na kabali takatifu aaliyo pigwa na Shamsa msichana ambeye kwenye maeneo mazima ya kupiga anayapenda tangu akiwa mtoto mdogo wa miaka mitano.Fetty kila alipo jaribu kuitoa mikono ya Shamsa akajikuta akishindwa kwani Shamsa anahakikisha kuwa anaondoka na roho ya Fetty,taratibu Fetty akaanza kushuka chini huku jicho likiwa linaanza kumtoka akimshuhudia mtoa roo akiinyemelea roho yake.Mlango wa lift aliyo panda Halima ukafunguka na akatoka nje akatazama pande zote za kardo akaona hakuna dalili yoyote na mtu,Akasikia kishindo na kukuroma kwa mtu kwenye mlango wa pili wa lifti ambao unshindwa kujifunga kutokana na kiatu chekundu lilicho zuia katikati na kuifanya milango hiyo kujisogeza na kurudi inapotoka.Halima akamshuhudia Fatty akilazwa chini na msichana anaye miminika kwa jasho jingi japo ndani ya lifti hii kuna hewa ya kutengenezwa AC(air condion)</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Halima hakupoteza muda,akaingia na kuzishika nywele za Shamsa na kumvuta nje kwa nguvu zake nje na kumfanya Shamsa kuburuzika kwenye sakafu iliyotengenezwa vizuri na kufanania na kioo.Akamgauza Faetty na kumkuta akikohoa kohoa akiyaruhusu mapafu yake kuingiza hewa ya kutosha.Shamsa akasimama na kuanza kukimbia kujiokoa maisha yake</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“A....nak....imbi....a.”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Fetty alizungumza kwa shida huku mkono wake mmoja akimnyooshea Shmsa anayechanja mbuga</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Upo vizuri lakini?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Nd...io muwah....i anatoroka”</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Halima akamtazama vizuri Fetty na kuridhishwa na afya yake na akasimama kwa haraka na kuanza kumkimbiza Shamsa.Shamsa hakuona sehemu nyingine ya kukimbilia zaidi ya kujirusha kwenye mlango mmoja uliopo mbele yake na kwabahati nzuri mtu aliyopo ndani ya chumba hicho ndio alikuwa ameufungua na kukishika kitasa cha mlango wake kwa ajili ya kutoka nje.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Kikumbo cha Shamsa kikamfanya mwenye chumba kuanguka chini pamoja na simu yake ambayo alikuwa anasoma meseji iliyomfanya asimame kwenye mlango huku akiwa ameshika kitasa.Shamsa hakuona sehemu nyingine ya kukimbilia zaidi ya bafuni ambapo Halima naye akaingia na kwa haraka Shamsa akachukua kibakuli chenye sabuni ya unga na kumbwagia Halima ya uso</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">                                                                             ***</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Muntar na watu wake wakazidi kunywa pombe na kuwaomba Agnes na Rahabu wawe wageni wao kwa usiku wa leo.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Jamani sisi hatuhitaji kulala kwenye hoteli hii.” Agnes alizungumza huku akikichezea kifua cha Muntar ambaye muda wote anakazi ya kutabasamu tabasamu</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Nyinyi mutanata wapi watoto wazuri?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hoteli yoyote ila si hapa”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Wee kibopa fanya mpango wa kutafuta vyumba vya mjini kwenye hoteli nzuri nzuri unazo zijua”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Bosi hotel ambayo ipo powa kwa haraka haraka ninaona ni Mtendele”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ipo wapi hiyo?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Maeneo ya Chuda raha”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sawa twendeni”</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Wakasimama na wote wakatoka nje,Rahabu na Agnes wakaingia kwenye gari lao na Muntar na wapambe wake wakingia kwenye gari yao aina ya HAICE na taratibu wakaanza safari ya kuelekea katika Hotel ya Mtendele</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ag hawa watu tunawaua kwa nama gani?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Una maana gani?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Namaanisha kwa kuwanyonga au kwa kuwapiga risasi?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Lengo letu sisi ni huyo Muntar hao wengine tuwapotezee”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Huoni watakuwa ni watu wa kwanza katika kutusaka sisi?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sawa ila tutajua ni jinsi gani ya kuwaua endepo nao wataingia kwenye kumi na nane zetu”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Powa hii ishu tuifanye usiku huu huu na turudi zetu kambini”</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Powa ni wewe tuu kikubwa ni umakini na hiyo bastola yako ikoki tayari kwa mashambulizi”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">                                                                 ***</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Muntar na wapambe wake wanaendelea kuburudika na mziki gafla Muntar akazima redio ya gari na kuwafanya wapambe wake kumtazama</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sikilizeni nyinyi....mpango wetu ni kama munavyo ujua,Sisi mwanamke kwetu ni begi la safari na hawa pia iwe hiyo hivyo”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sawa bosi ila mimi sijaelewa kidogo hapo kwa maana hawa nao pia tunatakiwa kuwaua?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ndio ni lazima wafe”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ahaaa bosi huoni maduu wazuri kama hawa pia tuwauee ,Acha basi tuspend nao kama siku mbili tatu nne hivi”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Kwa haraka Muntar akachomoa bastola yeka na kumelekezea Kibopa ambaye muda mwingi anapenda sana wasichana wazuri</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Katika wakati wa kazi huwa sipendi masihara.....na ole wenu miongoni mwenu nione mtu anajipendekeza kwa msichana yoyote nitamtoa roho,Tuna wakamata na kuwachinja na ndani ya matumbo yao tunadumbukiza shehena yote ya madawa ya kulevya tuliyo nayo.SAWA?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sawa bosi’</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Wote wakaitikia kwa woga huku Kibopa mwili wake wote ukiwa unamtetemeka kwani Muntar ni mwanaume asiye na huruma kwa mtu wa aina yoyote katika swala zima la biashara zake haramu.Usemi wake mkubwa ni bora punda afe ili mzigo ufike</span></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">        </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: yellow;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">SHE IS MY WIFE(NI MKE WANGU)……4</span></span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Kwa bahati mbaya katika maeneo ya barabara ya Railys,wakakuta ajali  ya daladala iliyosababisha magari mengi kusimama kwa muda,Kutokana hawakuwa na haraka ikawalazimu kupanga foleni na kuwaacha askari wa usalama barabarani kumaiza vipimbo vyao.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Rahab nahisi kuna kitu kwenye gari la kina Muntar.” Agnes alimuambia Rahabu</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Kitu gani?”</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Kama wanakitu wanakijadili na ona oana jinsi Muntar anavyo zungumza huku akiichezesha chezasha mkono wake ulioshika bastola?” Agens alimuonyesha Rahab na kwakusaidiwa na mwanga wa taa za magari mengine waliweza kuliona tukio la ndani ya gari</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Rahab akaitoa bastola yake na kuifunga kiwambo cha kuzuia sauti,akataka kushuka kwenye gari ila Agnes akamzuia</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Mbona unakuwa kama mjinga unataka kwenda wapi?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Tuwafyatue tusepe zetu”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Huoni hao askari hapo au unataka tukimbizane kimbizane?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Wote wakajikuta macho yao yakimsindikiza askari anaye gongwa kwenye kioo cha gari walilomo Muntar na watu wake</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">                                                      ***</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Muntar akamtazama askari anaye gonga kioo cha gari lao,Akaitazama astola yake na kukishusha kioo taratibu</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Shukeni ndani ya gari.” Askari aliwaamrisha na kuwamfaya Muntar kufyatua risasi mbili kwa haraka,milio ya risasi ikawafanya watu waliopo kwenye eneo kuanza kutawanyika kuokoa maisha yao.Askari wengine watatu waliopo katika eneo la tukio wakajibanza kwenye magari mengine wakiwa na bunduki zako na kuanza kujibu mashambulizi kuelekea kwenye gari la Muntar</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Rudisha nyuma gai hilo.”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Muntar alimuamuru dereva wake na akatii,Wakaligonga gari walilomo Agnes na Rahab na kulifanya lirudi nyuma na kuyagonga magari yaliyopo nyuma yetu.Rahab akaanza akaanza kufyatua risasi katika matairi ya gari la Muntar na kulifanya lipoteze muoelekeo hii ni baada ya breki za gari lao kushindwa kukamata vizuri na kugonga kwenye vyuma vya reli.Watu wa Muntari,mmoja baada ya mwengine wakaanza kujirusha nje ya gari wakiwa na bunduki zao aina ya ‘Short gun’ na kuendelea kufanya mashambuliza kwa askari.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Agnes akafungua mlango wa gari lao na kupiga goti moja chini,Bastola yake ikawa na kazi mija tuu ambayo ni kufyatua risasi kwa kila mtu wa Muntar.Muntar akazidi kuchanganyikiwa baada ya watu wake kuwaona wakiwa wanaanguka mmoja baada ya mwengine.Hadi akabaki akiwa na Kibopa ambaye wakati wote wezake wakipambana yeye alikuwa na kazi ya kujibanza kwenye gari lao</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Muntar akaona nafasi pekee ni kukimbia,kwa bahati nzuri pembeni kuna pikipiki iliyo acha na raia aliyekuwa akijiokoa maisha yake kwa kuiamini sana miguu yake kuliko pikipiki.Akapanda na Kibopa akadanda kwa nyuma wakaondoka kwa kasi wakikatiza katokati ya njia za reli.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Agnes na Rahab wakaingia ndani ya gari,Agnes akalirudisha gari lao nyuma na kupata upenyo wa kuiwezesha gari yao kupita na kupita njia ambayo Muntar amekimbilia.Askari wakashindwa kufyatua risasi kwatika gari linalo wafukuzia majambazi kwani hawakujua walio wasaidia ni kina nani.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Muntar akazidi kukanyaga mafuta na kuingia barabara inayokwenda mikoani akikatiza katika kiplefti cha kwaminchi,Agnes akawa na gazi ya kupiga honi akiashiria watu waliopo barabarani kuwapiasha.Akazidi kukanyaga mafuta kwa kasi huku akiikaribia pikipiki ya Muntar.Kibopa akaanza kufyatu risasi kuelekea lilipi gari walilopo Agens.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Shiti....” Rahab alizungumza huku akinang’ata meno yake,alikataka kujitokeza kwenye kioo cha gari ila akarudi ndani kwa haraka baada ya kioo kidogo cha pembeni kuvunjwa kwa risasi anazo zipiga Kibopa pasipo kuwa na utaratibu wowote.Gafla kibopa akalikwepa Scania linalo toka kwenye kiwanda cha unga Pembe maeneo ya Kange na karibia robo mbili ya gari imeziba barabara na kuachanisha uwazi mdogo unao weza kuiruhusu pikipiki kupi na kuendelea mbele kwa kasi.Agnes akafunga breki za gari lake kwa kasi na kuiingiza upande wa kulia kwake kukikwepa kichwa cha gari kubwa la unga,Gari karerereka pembeni ya barabara na kwakusadiana na Rahab wakaushika mskani wa gari na kuurudisha upande wa kulia </span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Gari ikakaa sawa barabarani,kutokana na mstuko katika injini,gari ikazima katikati ya barabara na milago yote kujifunga.Kwa kutumia vitako vya bastola zao wakapasua vioo vya madirisha ya magari na kujitoa ndani ya gari lao,linalo toa mlio wa kuashiria linaitilafu sehemu</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“R...itakuwaje sasa?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ndio hivyo jamaa wamesha sepa.”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ngoja kwanza.” Agnes akaenda eneo lenye maegesho ya boda boda(waendesha pikipiki),</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ni kina nani wanaweza kuendesha pikipiki kwa kasi kubbwa?”</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Kila muendesha pikipiki akaa kimya huku macho yao wakiitazama bastola ya Agnes.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ohoo nahisi munaiogopa hii bastola? Mimi ni raia mwema ninaomba masaada wa kuwakimbiza wale watu walio pita hapa?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">”Dada mimi piki piki yangu haina mafuta?” Jamaa mmoja alizungumza huku akilivua kofia lake,wengine wote wakakataa.Rahab akafika eneo alipo Agnes</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ag wanasemaje?”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hawataki?”</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Rahab akapiga risasi moja hewani,kila dereva aliye ipenda rogo yake akaaruka kwenye pikipiki yake na kuchanganya kwato zake kuooa maisha yake.Rahabu akapanda kwenye moja ya piki piki aina ya Boxer,ambayo dereva wake aliisahau funguo yeke.Muntar kadri anavyozidi kuendesha pikipiki ndivyo jinsi mafuta yaliyozidi kuteketea,na taratibu piki piki ikaanza kugoma na mwisho wa siku ikagoma kabisa hata kusogea hatua mbele.Rahab akazidi kuvuta mafuta ya pikipiki waliyo panda,kwa mbali wakawaoana Muntari na Kibopa wakishuka kwenye pikipiki yao na kuinga pori.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">                                                                                     ***</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Shamsa baada ya kumuona Halima anaanza kuhangaika kwa sabuni ya unga aliyo mwagia usoni,kwa haraka akafungu mlango wa chumba na kuaanza kukimbia kuelekea zilipo ngazi za kushuka.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Anna kwa haraka akashuka kwenye ngazi na kuanza kumshindilia mateke Karim ambaye amechoka kwa kiasi kikubwa sana.Karim akajihahidi kujiinua ila Anna akawa makini kwa kila jambo na kwa haraka akaiwahi shingo ya Karimu na kuizungusha kwa nguvu na kuivunja.Kitendo cha Karimu kuuawa kikashuhudiwa na Shamsa ambaye ndio yupo kwenye harakati za kujiokoa kutoka mikononi mwa Halima.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Anna hakumjali Shamsa ambaye amesimama kwa mshangao akiwa haamini kwa kitu kilicho tokea kwa mpenzi wake anaye mpenda kuliko kitu cha aina yoyote.Kwa haraka Shamsa akashuka kwenye ngazi kwa hasira na kumrukia Anna ambaye akajibamiza kwenye ukuta,Shemsa akajaribu kumrukia Anna ambaye alifanikiwa kumkwepa na kwa bahati mbaya Anna akamsukuma Shamsa ambaye akaanza kwenda chini kutoka gorofa ya nne hadi kwenye sakafu na kichwa chake kikapiga chini na kikapasuka mbele ya macho ya polisi na baadhi ya wateja wengine</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Anna taratibu akapiga hatua na kuchungulia sehemu aliyo angukia macho yake yakakutana na askari tishio ambaye ni mpelelezi wa kutegemewa nchini bwana Jackson Luther</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">                                                                                      ***</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Rahab anazidi kuvuta mafuta ya pikipiki hadi kwenye njia walio ingilia Muntar na KIbopa mbao walizidi kuongeza mwendo wa kukimbia baada ya kuiona pikipiki ikiwafwata kwa kasi nyuma yao.Kwa bahati mbaya Muntar  na  Kibopa waliishiwa risasi katika silaha zao,kila mmoja akakimbia kwa upande wake anao ujua yeye ili kutaokoa maisha yake,Rahabu akapunguza mwendo wa pikiki na Agnes akaruka na kukimbilia njia aliyo kwenda Kibopa,Rahab akapita njia aliyo kwenda Muntar.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Muntar akajibanza kwenye mti na kuokota gongo kubwa na kulishika kwa umakini.Gafla Rahab akajikuta akiichia pikipiki na kuanguka chini hii ni baada ya kupigwa gongo la kifua na Muntar akajitokeza mbele yake huku akiwa na gongo mkononi</span></span></div></div>

RIWAYA: She is My Wife- Sehemu ya 3 & 4

Mtunzi : EDDAZARIA G.MSULWA ILIPOISHIA “Hakikisheni huyu dada nina lala naye usiku wa leo sawa” Muntar aliwaamrisha wapambe wake na wakamti...

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13 Ways to Support Your Partner When They're Unemployed

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><h2 class="gallery-description--text"><img alt="" class="gallery-lead--img swap-image horizontal lazy-loaded" data-cut="980" data-img320="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/480x240/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" data-img480="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/640x320/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" data-img640="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/768x384/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" data-img768="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/980x490/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" data-img980="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/980x490/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" data-src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/980x490/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/980x490/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" style="display: block;" />When your partner comes home and reveals the shocking news that they've been laid off, let go, fired, or any of the other terms for that big, ugly word "unemployed," it can be tricky to go into straight into supportive partner mode.<br />Most of our reactions are a mixture of sadness, anxiety, and a tiny bit of freaking out about how this might change your relationship, your financial security, and, well, your life. This is totally normal, but it's important to remember...</h2></div>

13 Ways to Support Your Partner When They're Unemployed

When your partner comes home and reveals the shocking news that they've been laid off, let go, fired, or any of the other terms for th...

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13 Ways to Support Your Partner When They're Unemployed

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <h2 class="gallery-description--text"> <img alt="" class="gallery-lead--img swap-image horizontal lazy-loaded" data-cut="980" data-img320="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/480x240/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" data-img480="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/640x320/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" data-img640="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/768x384/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" data-img768="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/980x490/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" data-img980="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/980x490/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" data-src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/980x490/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/33/980x490/landscape-1471235423-gettyimages-89024688.jpg" style="display: block;" />When your partner comes home and reveals the shocking news that they've been laid off, let go, fired, or any of the other terms for that big, ugly word "unemployed," it can be tricky to go into straight into supportive partner mode.<br /> Most of our reactions are a mixture of sadness, anxiety, and a tiny bit of freaking out about how this might change your relationship, your financial security, and, well, your life. This is totally normal, but it's important to remember...</h2> </div>

13 Ways to Support Your Partner When They're Unemployed

When your partner comes home and reveals the shocking news that they've been laid off, let go, fired, or any of the other terms for ...

Read more »

Experts Say These Are the Types of Questions You Should Be Asking On Dates

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"><img alt="" class="swap-image embedded-image--image zoomable lazy-loaded" data-cut="768" data-img320="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/480x240/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-img320-h="240" data-img320-w="480" data-img480="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/640x320/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-img480-h="320" data-img480-w="640" data-img640="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/768x384/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-img640-h="384" data-img640-w="768" data-img768="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/980x490/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-img768-h="490" data-img768-w="980" data-src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/980x490/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-zoom="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/1600x800/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/980x490/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" style="display: block;" />The craze over the <a class="body-el-link standard-body-el-link" href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html?_r=0" target="_blank">36 Questions</a> posited by the <em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">New York Times </em>last year as the pathway to falling in love with someone would draw skepticism from any true <a class="body-el-link standard-body-el-link" href="http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a22144/relationship-myths-finding-the-one/" target="_blank">love cynic</a>. The thinking behind the questions—ranging from mild to moderately-probing questions about life and death and relationships—is that opening up to someone about these topics introduces vulnerability and openness, and mutual vulnerability inspires intimacy (yada, yada, yada). But everyone knows that a vulnerability session is not always a comfortable way to while away the hours when you're getting to know someone. </span></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor">To get a second opinion on what types of questions people could ask someone they're dating to get to know them beyond the surface-level, we spoke with <a class="body-el-link standard-body-el-link" href="http://www.drmonicaoneal.com/" target="_blank">Dr. Monica O'Neal</a>, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert based in Boston who lectures at the Harvard Medical School. </span></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor" id="docs-internal-guid-9131c222-eaf6-b41c-4505-5317df6b43e2">She notes that there is no cut-and-dried "correct" way to approach dating and getting to know someone, nor a specific set of questions everyone should ask a partner, but she advises people—especially those looking for more serious relationships—to think about questions that help you have a better understanding of what you need and whether or not somebody is a good fit for you—intellectually and emotionally.</span></div><div class="pullquote pullquote-C standard-article-body-el-pullquote-C anim-in-view">"You want to meet someone who's willing to sit through the discomfort and the ambiguity and to be able to ask deeper questions and be curious about the responses."<br /><div class="pullquote-share"><div class="share-module " data-share-location="social-btns-pullquote"><ul class="share-module--buttons"><li class="share-module--button-wrap share-module--button-wrap-facebook "><div class="share-button share-button--facebook " data-content-id="61820" data-image="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/1600x800/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-tracking-id="share-button-facebook" data-url="http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a45788/first-date-questions/"><a class="share-button--link share-button--open-window link " href="http://www.facebook.com/v2.3/dialog/feed?app_id=192267167468284&name=%22You+want+to+meet+someone+who%27s+willing+to+sit+through+the+discomfort+and+the+ambiguity+and+to+be+able+to+ask+deeper+questions+and+be+curious+about+the+responses.%22&description=Experts+Say+These+Are+the+Types+of+Questions+You+Should+Be+Asking+on+Dates&display=popup&link=http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a45788/first-date-questions/&picture=http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/1600x800/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg&redirect_uri=http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a45788/first-date-questions/&version=v2.3" target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook"> </a></div></li><li class="share-module--button-wrap share-module--button-wrap-twitter "><div class="share-button share-button--twitter " data-content-id="61820" data-image="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/1600x800/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-tracking-id="share-button-twitter" data-url="http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a45788/first-date-questions/"><a class="share-button--link share-button--open-window link " data-site-handle="redbookmag" href="http://www.twitter.com/share?url=http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a45788/first-date-questions/&text=%22You%20want%20to%20meet%20someone%20who%27s%20willing%20to%20sit%20through%20the%20discomfort%20and%20the%20ambiguity%20and%20to%20be%20ab&via=redbookmag" target="_blank" title="Share on Twitter"> </a></div></li></ul></div></div></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"><span class="redactor-invisible-space" data-redactor-class="redactor-invisible-space" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"><span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor" id="docs-internal-guid-9131c222-eaf7-7a7e-80da-6153807deffd">"If you think about it," she says, "if you're dating someone, and you're going to eventually want something serious with them, you want to meet someone who's willing to sit through the discomfort and the ambiguity and to be able to ask deeper questions—not get fixated on whether something's right or wrong—and be curious about the responses."</span></span></span></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">Below, her recommended questions for a typical dating sequence, from the first date to a point where you're getting more serious about someone. Timing of these is important, she says, based on what age you are, where you're at in a relationship, and whether you're pursuing a more serious relationship or not. Yes, the questions are a little scary, but the goal is to ultimately gauge a response that helps you read whether your partner demonstrates a range of <a class="body-el-link standard-body-el-link" href="http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a6601/qualities-guys-look-for-in-girlfriends/" target="_blank">valued traits</a>, from openness and flexibility, to curiosity and empathy.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">"What made you decide to swipe right? What made you decide to ask me out?"</strong></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor" id="docs-internal-guid-9131c222-eaf9-bed0-f680-173b4d24b70c"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Dr. Monica O'Neal</strong>: I would say that this is a good question for everybody to ask, regardless of their age range, not in a way where you're questioning, "Why do you like me?" but more along the lines of, "What about me in particular made me stand out?" I know some people might think it sounds conceited, but I don't because I think it gives a nice opportunity for the other person to volley and say, "What made *you* decide to do it?" How deep or how thoughtful the other person is might give you some information about who they are. If they say, "Well, you're hot or you have nice boobs," that might be true and it would be rude if they said they didn't find you attractive, but you want to know that they're going to go deeper than your physical qualities. And on the flip side, be honest with them and see how they respond. And if they don't respond at all, people might say, "I don't know, it's too deep of a question." You have to ask yourself, "Do you want to be with somebody who would be that quick to shut down? Or do you want to be with someone who has a little more room to push themselves and go someplace different?" </span></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">"Have you been in love before? What kind of person do you typically fall for?" </strong></span></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor" id="docs-internal-guid-9131c222-eb01-540e-c386-35a38d4d7909"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">MO:</strong> There's magic in this question. I usually suggest this for a slightly older crowd, and this is a question that you have to pull off with a lot of confidence. You can ask this in the context of knowing what made the other person swipe right. And really listen, pay attention, have a little conversation about it. And then when they quiet off a little bit, look them solid in the eye and say to them, "Do I seem like I'm that kind of woman?" It's a very powerful moment. What it does is, you can see the other person get uncomfortable. And it's not like you're trying to make them uncomfortable, but you want to stop the music for a moment and make sure that they're looking at you in a particular way. And the people who can do that and want to do that, I think that would give you a real clue if this is someone to pursue. And that's a subtle way of saying, "I want something serious. I want to be special." Because we all do. </span></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Past relationships...</strong></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">MO:</strong> I would say that this a third date type of question. It doesn't have to be as straightforward as, "Tell me about your last relationship." It can simply be like, "Oh you've been in a relationship. Well, tell me about it. How'd you meet? How did it end?" And so on. You don't want to go into too much detail but I would listen to see if you hear, "Oh, it was mutual." I think that's BS. It's never mutual. Somebody has to pull the trigger, even if both people are unhappy. I would really listen to how somebody answers that question. Are they answering that question openly and honestly? Are they putting down their partners?</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">"Of all your past exes and people you've dated, what is the thing they complain the most about you?</strong><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">"</strong></div><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">MO:</strong> This is for when you're really liking each other, maybe on about the fourth or fifth or sixth date. And pay attention if someone says, "They wouldn't say anything. I was a great boyfriend." And be prepared to give your own answer. At any point during the first few four or five dates, you shouldn't be disclosing the most painful baggage. Be careful about the stuff that you share about family. You don't want to go too fast, too deeply, because it's hard and vulnerable. And you should only make yourself more vulnerable when somebody's proven that they're someone you can go a little deeper with</div>

Experts Say These Are the Types of Questions You Should Be Asking On Dates

The craze over the 36 Questions posited by the New York Times last year as the pathway to falling in love with someone would draw skepticis...

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Experts Say These Are the Types of Questions You Should Be Asking On Dates

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"><img alt="" class="swap-image embedded-image--image zoomable lazy-loaded" data-cut="768" data-img320="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/480x240/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-img320-h="240" data-img320-w="480" data-img480="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/640x320/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-img480-h="320" data-img480-w="640" data-img640="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/768x384/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-img640-h="384" data-img640-w="768" data-img768="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/980x490/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-img768-h="490" data-img768-w="980" data-src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/980x490/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-zoom="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/1600x800/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/980x490/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" style="display: block;" />The craze over the <a class="body-el-link standard-body-el-link" href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html?_r=0" target="_blank">36 Questions</a> posited by the <em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">New York Times </em>last year as the pathway to falling in love with someone would draw skepticism from any true <a class="body-el-link standard-body-el-link" href="http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a22144/relationship-myths-finding-the-one/" target="_blank">love cynic</a>. The thinking behind the questions—ranging from mild to moderately-probing questions about life and death and relationships—is that opening up to someone about these topics introduces vulnerability and openness, and mutual vulnerability inspires intimacy (yada, yada, yada). But everyone knows that a vulnerability session is not always a comfortable way to while away the hours when you're getting to know someone. </span></div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor">To get a second opinion on what types of questions people could ask someone they're dating to get to know them beyond the surface-level, we spoke with <a class="body-el-link standard-body-el-link" href="http://www.drmonicaoneal.com/" target="_blank">Dr. Monica O'Neal</a>, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert based in Boston who lectures at the Harvard Medical School. </span></div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor" id="docs-internal-guid-9131c222-eaf6-b41c-4505-5317df6b43e2">She notes that there is no cut-and-dried "correct" way to approach dating and getting to know someone, nor a specific set of questions everyone should ask a partner, but she advises people—especially those looking for more serious relationships—to think about questions that help you have a better understanding of what you need and whether or not somebody is a good fit for you—intellectually and emotionally.</span></div> <div class="pullquote pullquote-C standard-article-body-el-pullquote-C anim-in-view"> "You want to meet someone who's willing to sit through the discomfort and the ambiguity and to be able to ask deeper questions and be curious about the responses."<br /> <div class="pullquote-share"> <div class="share-module " data-share-location="social-btns-pullquote"> <ul class="share-module--buttons"> <li class="share-module--button-wrap share-module--button-wrap-facebook "><div class="share-button share-button--facebook " data-content-id="61820" data-image="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/1600x800/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-tracking-id="share-button-facebook" data-url="http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a45788/first-date-questions/"> <a class="share-button--link share-button--open-window link " href="http://www.facebook.com/v2.3/dialog/feed?app_id=192267167468284&name=%22You+want+to+meet+someone+who%27s+willing+to+sit+through+the+discomfort+and+the+ambiguity+and+to+be+able+to+ask+deeper+questions+and+be+curious+about+the+responses.%22&description=Experts+Say+These+Are+the+Types+of+Questions+You+Should+Be+Asking+on+Dates&display=popup&link=http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a45788/first-date-questions/&picture=http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/1600x800/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg&redirect_uri=http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a45788/first-date-questions/&version=v2.3" target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook"> </a></div> </li> <li class="share-module--button-wrap share-module--button-wrap-twitter "><div class="share-button share-button--twitter " data-content-id="61820" data-image="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/16/35/1600x800/1473037779-landscape-1472821208-stocksy-first-date-1.jpg" data-tracking-id="share-button-twitter" data-url="http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a45788/first-date-questions/"> <a class="share-button--link share-button--open-window link " data-site-handle="redbookmag" href="http://www.twitter.com/share?url=http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a45788/first-date-questions/&text=%22You%20want%20to%20meet%20someone%20who%27s%20willing%20to%20sit%20through%20the%20discomfort%20and%20the%20ambiguity%20and%20to%20be%20ab&via=redbookmag" target="_blank" title="Share on Twitter"> </a></div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"><span class="redactor-invisible-space" data-redactor-class="redactor-invisible-space" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"><span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor" id="docs-internal-guid-9131c222-eaf7-7a7e-80da-6153807deffd">"If you think about it," she says, "if you're dating someone, and you're going to eventually want something serious with them, you want to meet someone who's willing to sit through the discomfort and the ambiguity and to be able to ask deeper questions—not get fixated on whether something's right or wrong—and be curious about the responses."</span></span></span></div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Below, her recommended questions for a typical dating sequence, from the first date to a point where you're getting more serious about someone. Timing of these is important, she says, based on what age you are, where you're at in a relationship, and whether you're pursuing a more serious relationship or not. Yes, the questions are a little scary, but the goal is to ultimately gauge a response that helps you read whether your partner demonstrates a range of <a class="body-el-link standard-body-el-link" href="http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a6601/qualities-guys-look-for-in-girlfriends/" target="_blank">valued traits</a>, from openness and flexibility, to curiosity and empathy.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">"What made you decide to swipe right? What made you decide to ask me out?"</strong></div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor" id="docs-internal-guid-9131c222-eaf9-bed0-f680-173b4d24b70c"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Dr. Monica O'Neal</strong>: I would say that this is a good question for everybody to ask, regardless of their age range, not in a way where you're questioning, "Why do you like me?" but more along the lines of, "What about me in particular made me stand out?" I know some people might think it sounds conceited, but I don't because I think it gives a nice opportunity for the other person to volley and say, "What made *you* decide to do it?" How deep or how thoughtful the other person is might give you some information about who they are. If they say, "Well, you're hot or you have nice boobs," that might be true and it would be rude if they said they didn't find you attractive, but you want to know that they're going to go deeper than your physical qualities. And on the flip side, be honest with them and see how they respond. And if they don't respond at all, people might say, "I don't know, it's too deep of a question." You have to ask yourself, "Do you want to be with somebody who would be that quick to shut down? Or do you want to be with someone who has a little more room to push themselves and go someplace different?" </span></div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">"Have you been in love before? What kind of person do you typically fall for?" </strong></span></div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor" id="docs-internal-guid-9131c222-eb01-540e-c386-35a38d4d7909"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">MO:</strong> There's magic in this question. I usually suggest this for a slightly older crowd, and this is a question that you have to pull off with a lot of confidence. You can ask this in the context of knowing what made the other person swipe right. And really listen, pay attention, have a little conversation about it. And then when they quiet off a little bit, look them solid in the eye and say to them, "Do I seem like I'm that kind of woman?" It's a very powerful moment. What it does is, you can see the other person get uncomfortable. And it's not like you're trying to make them uncomfortable, but you want to stop the music for a moment and make sure that they're looking at you in a particular way. And the people who can do that and want to do that, I think that would give you a real clue if this is someone to pursue. And that's a subtle way of saying, "I want something serious. I want to be special." Because we all do. </span></div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Past relationships...</strong></div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">MO:</strong> I would say that this a third date type of question. It doesn't have to be as straightforward as, "Tell me about your last relationship." It can simply be like, "Oh you've been in a relationship. Well, tell me about it. How'd you meet? How did it end?" And so on. You don't want to go into too much detail but I would listen to see if you hear, "Oh, it was mutual." I think that's BS. It's never mutual. Somebody has to pull the trigger, even if both people are unhappy. I would really listen to how somebody answers that question. Are they answering that question openly and honestly? Are they putting down their partners?</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">"Of all your past exes and people you've dated, what is the thing they complain the most about you?</strong><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">"</strong></div> <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">MO:</strong> This is for when you're really liking each other, maybe on about the fourth or fifth or sixth date. And pay attention if someone says, "They wouldn't say anything. I was a great boyfriend." And be prepared to give your own answer. At any point during the first few four or five dates, you shouldn't be disclosing the most painful baggage. Be careful about the stuff that you share about family. You don't want to go too fast, too deeply, because it's hard and vulnerable. And you should only make yourself more vulnerable when somebody's proven that they're someone you can go a little deeper with</div>

Experts Say These Are the Types of Questions You Should Be Asking On Dates

The craze over the 36 Questions posited by the New York Times last year as the pathway to falling in love with someone would draw skeptic...

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<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="standard-article-body--content"><div class="standard-article-body--text"><div class="standard-article-body--text"><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><img alt="" class="swap-image embedded-image--image lazy-loaded" data-cut="768" data-img320="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" data-img320-h="240" data-img320-w="475" data-img480="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" data-img480-h="240" data-img480-w="475" data-img640="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" data-img640-h="240" data-img640-w="475" data-img768="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" data-img768-h="240" data-img768-w="475" data-src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" style="display: block;" />You want to know the truth? Guys lie -- occasionally, compulsively, desperately. We certainly don't have a monopoly on lying, and I've seen women pull off some whoppers, but we men, over centuries of tinkering, have developed hardy, scrutiny-resistant strains. In the interests of furthering intergender understanding, I talked real guys into identifying, and explaining, their biggest lies.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <span style="font-size: larger;">"Sure, honey, that dress looks fine."</span></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>Why he tells it:</b> Hassle avoidance</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Men employ these "forgivable fibs" not just to avoid hurting you ("Of course you don't look fat in that outfit") but to make their lives easier ("I think that wallpaper looks great") and to steer clear of trouble ("I guess Cindy Crawford's 'sexy' in a conventional kind of way, but she's not my cup of tea").</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> "Lies at this level are a way to cushion the shock of two individuals interacting with each other," says Arthur L. Kovacs, Ph.D., a psychologist in Santa Monica, California. It's not that your man doesn't care what you wear or what the living room looks like The Top 10 Lies Happy Husbands Tell he does. It just doesn't matter as much to him as it apparently does to you, and often he'll decide that voicing his real opinion's not worth the cost of disrupting an otherwise pleasant car ride or spending another half hour at Home Depot.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> The bottom line: We lie because we love you. (If one of our buddies asked us to help choose wallpaper, we'd say, "Why don't you Xerox my butt 500 times and put that up?") In the interest of truth, you can ask him if he wants to weigh in, then simply let him off the hook if he doesn't.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><b>"I can fix it."...Why he tells it:</b> Ego protection</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Whether it's home repair, barbecuing or wiring stereos, there are certain domains guys feel compelled to know everything about. If a man cannot fix his own power tool, he must lie and declare it beyond repair, because if he admits defeat and lets his wife fix it, he's officially banished from the Regular Guy club forever. That's the way it feels, anyway -- and that's why, every year, perfectly competent certified public accountants get their fingers cut off in circular saw accidents.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Being visibly proficient at the guy basics cuts to the core of our identity. These "I can fix it" lies tend to lessen with time, as couples start to divide tasks and responsibilities along realistic lines of personal strengths and weaknesses rather than traditional gender roles. But take it slow. "Reassure him that he's lovable for who he is, and that he doesn't need to solve every problem," advises Kovacs. "There's no shame in realistically evaluating each other's skills and sorting out who should do what."</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><b>"I was not looking at her boobs."...Why he tells it:</b> To achieve a delicate balance between marital harmony and 4 million years of biological conditioning</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">No matter how long you've been together, I guarantee your man hasn't stopped being attracted to other women. You can't promise to stop liking chocolate -- only to stop eating it. When a good-looking woman walks by, he notices. If her skirt is momentarily caught in a crosswind, even a legally blind man will get whiplash.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">Guys are responding to millions of years of biological conditioning. Why bother lying? Because it's obvious our looking bothers you. "This is what I call a 'blessed lie,'" says Kovacs. "Men are given more license to acknowledge a wandering eye, but at the same time, we have to always treat our woman as if she's the only thing in our field of vision."</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> I once dated a woman who discreetly pointed out the awesome cleavage of a girl standing next to us. I was thrilled, and not just by the view: With that one self-confident gesture, my date relieved my subconscious worry of being caught checking out other girls. She's now my wife. (Okay, she did a lot of other cool stuff, too.)</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><b>"Nothing's wrong."...Why he tells it:</b> To lick his wounds in private</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">Sadness, depression, disillusionment: Correct me if I'm wrong, but for women, a man's loneliness seems to offer an ideal consoling/bonding opportunity. If only men felt the same way. For us, your heartfelt concern only confirms that our personal weakness is now blatantly visible. And that's why, when pressed by a loved one to unburden our souls, we quickly poke our heads back in our shells. Remember that for men, to bleed is noble, to refuse a Band-Aid, divine. In the psychological realm, this sometimes means lying and dissembling to avoid The Dreaded Talk.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">Should you ever offer a shoulder to cry on? Yes. "If I think there's a solution to be found, I'm glad to talk to my wife about it," says Jared, 31. "She's pretty insightful. But if I can't change the situation, for God's sake, just let me go out to the garage and bang some boards together or something."</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><b>"I tried to call you."...Why he tells it:</b> Self-defense</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">All men secretly think they're saints -- or exceedingly nice guys, anyway. We can't understand how women could ever be disappointed with us, given the glorious single life we've willingly given up. So when you get angry because your husband didn't call, or he showed up late, or he forgot to pick up your insulin before the pharmacy closed, the excuses kick in. You're complaining about a small, specific crime; his lie is his way of saying, "But doesn't it matter that my intentions were pure?"</div></div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">"Whenever I do something wrong, my wife totally overreacts and gets hostile," says Jay, 34. So essentially, lying is damage control: When we sense undue distress, we assume our petty crime can't account for it all. Rather, your complaint must be the tip of an iceberg of criticism, and a simple apology may be admitting to more than we bargained for. If we confess to forgetting to call you when out with the boys, will you take it to mean we didn't think about you once all evening, or that we were glad to be away from you? Far safer to simply pretend the phone went inexplicably dead.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><b>"I don't want to have sex unless you want to."...Why he tells it:</b> To avoid seeming like a sex-crazed monkey</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">Women love sex -- with the right person, in the right mood and armed with the right underwear. Men's love of sex is unconditional. When unburdened by physical problems or moral restraints, the typical man can happily have sex any time, any place. He doesn't have to be in a good mood, or like the person, or "feel right about it," or know her name. Even porn movie dialogue doesn't turn men off. What's that tell you?</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">Men aren't insensitive to the dismaying effect our God-given, fraternity-seasoned lust can have on the women we love. "If women knew what we were thinking about most of the time, they'd never let us on their carpets," says Dan, 30. So we do our best to smooth over the rough edges. If you're not in the mood, we'll hide our disappointment so you won't think we're raging sex maniacs. If you're averse to our new idea involving handcuffs, a lingerie catalog and a balloon full of Jell-O, we'll quickly pretend we were kidding so you won't think we're perverts. (And if we feel too tired for sex, we may "perform" anyway so you won't cast your eye on the cable guy.)</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">It's tough for men today. We're required to be sublimely romantic and respectful, and to ask for permission before touching your nose. But we're also expected to be harder than nuclear physics, last longer than an impeachment trial, be ready for action whenever you are,and bring you off every time.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">Juggling all these concerns, a guy will lie in the bedroom whenever he thinks the truth would (a) make him seem like an oversexed animal, (b) make him seem undersexed or (c) offend you and get his horizontal privileges cut off. And we don't want anything cut off, now do we?</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><b>"I'm the best, baby."...Why he tells it:</b> To make you glad you married him</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">Virtually all guys engage in a little creativity when describing their bravery and fortitude, the wildness of their past exploits or their critical role at work. We're just making sure you never forget what a superlative guy you married.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">"I think women expect you to talk yourself up," says Kenneth, 34. "It's your duty to give her great stories."</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">More important, embellishing our personal histories gives a small but regular booster shot to that ever-susceptible male ego. It's hard for the average guy to accept his averageness -- to drive his average car to his average job, take home his average salary and so forth -- especially when beer ads are blasting us with exciting images of exceptional people. If stretching the truth helps justify our unique importance to the planet, great. (This doesn't apply to me, of course: I'm legitimately extraordinary. Have a seat and I'll tell you all about it.)</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> It's harmless, in moderation. Is it important to him that you believe he "forced them" to fire him? Don't worry, he's normal. Is it important to him that you believe he's the CEO of Disney? You're in trouble. (Er -- not you, Mrs. Eisner.)</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><b>"My old girlfriend? She was just okay."...Why he tells it:</b> Self-preservation</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> What details from your past become common property when you marry? A man is duty-bound (and legally bound, usually) to tell his wife if he's ever contracted a sexually transmitted disease or fathered any tykes. Beyond that, it gets hazy fast. Does his wife have a right to know how many women he's slept with? Or how good it was? When privacy-minded guys are faced with probing questions, you can guess what happens.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">"My wife asked me if I'd ever cheated on a girlfriend," says Bob, 32. "I did, once, but it was an isolated thing. I'd never do it again. But women think 'once a cheater, always a cheater,' so I told her no. I hated lying, but I felt like what she was really asking was, 'Would you ever cheat on me?' And that question I answered truthfully."</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">Men understand the importance of honesty, but we're talking about the big picture. When, in his judgment, to tell the literal truth would plant an unnecessary seed of doubt or hurt, fibbing often seems the nobler path.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">Yes, this strategy conveniently keeps us from having to disclose uncomfortable information. But men, for whom intimacy is always learned behavior, can feel naked without a few private places a marriage doesn't reach -- and events truly in our past are a safe private zone.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><b>"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."...Why he tells it:</b> Desperate self-preservation</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> When a man does something that poses a significant risk to his marriage, the temptation to lie like there's no tomorrow is strong. There's nothing forgivable about this kind of lie, but in his mind at least, it can still be the lesser of two evils. "Anything likely to tear a marriage apart is also likely to be lied about unless the man is prepared for divorce," says Kovacs.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">An otherwise happily married man, regretful and repentant after an isolated one-night stand, may choose to lie about it and live quietly with the guilt (and the eternal fear of exposure) rather than risk his home life. It's an act of both cowardice and compassion, since confessing to betrayal is bound to rain hostility on him and misery on his wife.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">"Some things supersede truth," says Marcus, 35. "If you're never going to cheat again, who's to say honesty's the best policy?"</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">If your husband had a onetime affair and resolved never to do it again, would you want to know? If so, take it seriously when you feel like things have changed between you, or you feel like he's drifting away. "Give him an opportunity to come forward," says Kovacs. "Say, 'I wish you felt you could tell me anything, and I'm here whenever you want to talk.'" Just be sure you really want to hear it -- there's no going back.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"><b>"I'll never lie to you."...Why he tells it:</b> To live happily ever after</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text">This is the kind of romantic, reassuring thing men say because there are times when what women really want is a movie line. But even if your guy means it -- and we usually do, when we say it -- time will tell. Will he ever fib, evade or stretch the truth? Yup. Will he keep his word about the important things? That depends on his character and the strength of your marriage. And it might take a shared lifetime to find out.</div><div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> But does he want the happy Hollywood ending? Yeah.</div></div></div></div>

You want to know the truth? Guys lie -- occasionally, compulsively, desperately. We certainly don't have a monopoly on lying, and I...

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<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="standard-article-body--content"> <div class="standard-article-body--text"> <div class="standard-article-body--text"> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <img alt="" class="swap-image embedded-image--image lazy-loaded" data-cut="768" data-img320="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" data-img320-h="240" data-img320-w="475" data-img480="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" data-img480-h="240" data-img480-w="475" data-img640="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" data-img640-h="240" data-img640-w="475" data-img768="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" data-img768-h="240" data-img768-w="475" data-src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" src="http://rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/49/547cdf8572002_-_071403.jpg" style="display: block;" />You want to know the truth? Guys lie -- occasionally, compulsively, desperately. We certainly don't have a monopoly on lying, and I've seen women pull off some whoppers, but we men, over centuries of tinkering, have developed hardy, scrutiny-resistant strains. In the interests of furthering intergender understanding, I talked real guys into identifying, and explaining, their biggest lies.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <span style="font-size: larger;">"Sure, honey, that dress looks fine."</span></div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>Why he tells it:</b> Hassle avoidance</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Men employ these "forgivable fibs" not just to avoid hurting you ("Of course you don't look fat in that outfit") but to make their lives easier ("I think that wallpaper looks great") and to steer clear of trouble ("I guess Cindy Crawford's 'sexy' in a conventional kind of way, but she's not my cup of tea").</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> "Lies at this level are a way to cushion the shock of two individuals interacting with each other," says Arthur L. Kovacs, Ph.D., a psychologist in Santa Monica, California. It's not that your man doesn't care what you wear or what the living room looks like The Top 10 Lies Happy Husbands Tell he does. It just doesn't matter as much to him as it apparently does to you, and often he'll decide that voicing his real opinion's not worth the cost of disrupting an otherwise pleasant car ride or spending another half hour at Home Depot.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> The bottom line: We lie because we love you. (If one of our buddies asked us to help choose wallpaper, we'd say, "Why don't you Xerox my butt 500 times and put that up?") In the interest of truth, you can ask him if he wants to weigh in, then simply let him off the hook if he doesn't.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>"I can fix it."...Why he tells it:</b> Ego protection</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Whether it's home repair, barbecuing or wiring stereos, there are certain domains guys feel compelled to know everything about. If a man cannot fix his own power tool, he must lie and declare it beyond repair, because if he admits defeat and lets his wife fix it, he's officially banished from the Regular Guy club forever. That's the way it feels, anyway -- and that's why, every year, perfectly competent certified public accountants get their fingers cut off in circular saw accidents.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Being visibly proficient at the guy basics cuts to the core of our identity. These "I can fix it" lies tend to lessen with time, as couples start to divide tasks and responsibilities along realistic lines of personal strengths and weaknesses rather than traditional gender roles. But take it slow. "Reassure him that he's lovable for who he is, and that he doesn't need to solve every problem," advises Kovacs. "There's no shame in realistically evaluating each other's skills and sorting out who should do what."</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>"I was not looking at her boobs."...Why he tells it:</b> To achieve a delicate balance between marital harmony and 4 million years of biological conditioning</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> No matter how long you've been together, I guarantee your man hasn't stopped being attracted to other women. You can't promise to stop liking chocolate -- only to stop eating it. When a good-looking woman walks by, he notices. If her skirt is momentarily caught in a crosswind, even a legally blind man will get whiplash.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Guys are responding to millions of years of biological conditioning. Why bother lying? Because it's obvious our looking bothers you. "This is what I call a 'blessed lie,'" says Kovacs. "Men are given more license to acknowledge a wandering eye, but at the same time, we have to always treat our woman as if she's the only thing in our field of vision."</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> I once dated a woman who discreetly pointed out the awesome cleavage of a girl standing next to us. I was thrilled, and not just by the view: With that one self-confident gesture, my date relieved my subconscious worry of being caught checking out other girls. She's now my wife. (Okay, she did a lot of other cool stuff, too.)</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>"Nothing's wrong."...Why he tells it:</b> To lick his wounds in private</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Sadness, depression, disillusionment: Correct me if I'm wrong, but for women, a man's loneliness seems to offer an ideal consoling/bonding opportunity. If only men felt the same way. For us, your heartfelt concern only confirms that our personal weakness is now blatantly visible. And that's why, when pressed by a loved one to unburden our souls, we quickly poke our heads back in our shells. Remember that for men, to bleed is noble, to refuse a Band-Aid, divine. In the psychological realm, this sometimes means lying and dissembling to avoid The Dreaded Talk.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Should you ever offer a shoulder to cry on? Yes. "If I think there's a solution to be found, I'm glad to talk to my wife about it," says Jared, 31. "She's pretty insightful. But if I can't change the situation, for God's sake, just let me go out to the garage and bang some boards together or something."</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>"I tried to call you."...Why he tells it:</b> Self-defense</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> All men secretly think they're saints -- or exceedingly nice guys, anyway. We can't understand how women could ever be disappointed with us, given the glorious single life we've willingly given up. So when you get angry because your husband didn't call, or he showed up late, or he forgot to pick up your insulin before the pharmacy closed, the excuses kick in. You're complaining about a small, specific crime; his lie is his way of saying, "But doesn't it matter that my intentions were pure?"</div> </div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> "Whenever I do something wrong, my wife totally overreacts and gets hostile," says Jay, 34. So essentially, lying is damage control: When we sense undue distress, we assume our petty crime can't account for it all. Rather, your complaint must be the tip of an iceberg of criticism, and a simple apology may be admitting to more than we bargained for. If we confess to forgetting to call you when out with the boys, will you take it to mean we didn't think about you once all evening, or that we were glad to be away from you? Far safer to simply pretend the phone went inexplicably dead.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>"I don't want to have sex unless you want to."...Why he tells it:</b> To avoid seeming like a sex-crazed monkey</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Women love sex -- with the right person, in the right mood and armed with the right underwear. Men's love of sex is unconditional. When unburdened by physical problems or moral restraints, the typical man can happily have sex any time, any place. He doesn't have to be in a good mood, or like the person, or "feel right about it," or know her name. Even porn movie dialogue doesn't turn men off. What's that tell you?</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Men aren't insensitive to the dismaying effect our God-given, fraternity-seasoned lust can have on the women we love. "If women knew what we were thinking about most of the time, they'd never let us on their carpets," says Dan, 30. So we do our best to smooth over the rough edges. If you're not in the mood, we'll hide our disappointment so you won't think we're raging sex maniacs. If you're averse to our new idea involving handcuffs, a lingerie catalog and a balloon full of Jell-O, we'll quickly pretend we were kidding so you won't think we're perverts. (And if we feel too tired for sex, we may "perform" anyway so you won't cast your eye on the cable guy.)</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> It's tough for men today. We're required to be sublimely romantic and respectful, and to ask for permission before touching your nose. But we're also expected to be harder than nuclear physics, last longer than an impeachment trial, be ready for action whenever you are,and bring you off every time.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Juggling all these concerns, a guy will lie in the bedroom whenever he thinks the truth would (a) make him seem like an oversexed animal, (b) make him seem undersexed or (c) offend you and get his horizontal privileges cut off. And we don't want anything cut off, now do we?</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>"I'm the best, baby."...Why he tells it:</b> To make you glad you married him</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Virtually all guys engage in a little creativity when describing their bravery and fortitude, the wildness of their past exploits or their critical role at work. We're just making sure you never forget what a superlative guy you married.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> "I think women expect you to talk yourself up," says Kenneth, 34. "It's your duty to give her great stories."</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> More important, embellishing our personal histories gives a small but regular booster shot to that ever-susceptible male ego. It's hard for the average guy to accept his averageness -- to drive his average car to his average job, take home his average salary and so forth -- especially when beer ads are blasting us with exciting images of exceptional people. If stretching the truth helps justify our unique importance to the planet, great. (This doesn't apply to me, of course: I'm legitimately extraordinary. Have a seat and I'll tell you all about it.)</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> It's harmless, in moderation. Is it important to him that you believe he "forced them" to fire him? Don't worry, he's normal. Is it important to him that you believe he's the CEO of Disney? You're in trouble. (Er -- not you, Mrs. Eisner.)</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>"My old girlfriend? She was just okay."...Why he tells it:</b> Self-preservation</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> What details from your past become common property when you marry? A man is duty-bound (and legally bound, usually) to tell his wife if he's ever contracted a sexually transmitted disease or fathered any tykes. Beyond that, it gets hazy fast. Does his wife have a right to know how many women he's slept with? Or how good it was? When privacy-minded guys are faced with probing questions, you can guess what happens.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> "My wife asked me if I'd ever cheated on a girlfriend," says Bob, 32. "I did, once, but it was an isolated thing. I'd never do it again. But women think 'once a cheater, always a cheater,' so I told her no. I hated lying, but I felt like what she was really asking was, 'Would you ever cheat on me?' And that question I answered truthfully."</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Men understand the importance of honesty, but we're talking about the big picture. When, in his judgment, to tell the literal truth would plant an unnecessary seed of doubt or hurt, fibbing often seems the nobler path.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> Yes, this strategy conveniently keeps us from having to disclose uncomfortable information. But men, for whom intimacy is always learned behavior, can feel naked without a few private places a marriage doesn't reach -- and events truly in our past are a safe private zone.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."...Why he tells it:</b> Desperate self-preservation</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> When a man does something that poses a significant risk to his marriage, the temptation to lie like there's no tomorrow is strong. There's nothing forgivable about this kind of lie, but in his mind at least, it can still be the lesser of two evils. "Anything likely to tear a marriage apart is also likely to be lied about unless the man is prepared for divorce," says Kovacs.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> An otherwise happily married man, regretful and repentant after an isolated one-night stand, may choose to lie about it and live quietly with the guilt (and the eternal fear of exposure) rather than risk his home life. It's an act of both cowardice and compassion, since confessing to betrayal is bound to rain hostility on him and misery on his wife.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> "Some things supersede truth," says Marcus, 35. "If you're never going to cheat again, who's to say honesty's the best policy?"</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> If your husband had a onetime affair and resolved never to do it again, would you want to know? If so, take it seriously when you feel like things have changed between you, or you feel like he's drifting away. "Give him an opportunity to come forward," says Kovacs. "Say, 'I wish you felt you could tell me anything, and I'm here whenever you want to talk.'" Just be sure you really want to hear it -- there's no going back.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> <b>"I'll never lie to you."...Why he tells it:</b> To live happily ever after</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> This is the kind of romantic, reassuring thing men say because there are times when what women really want is a movie line. But even if your guy means it -- and we usually do, when we say it -- time will tell. Will he ever fib, evade or stretch the truth? Yup. Will he keep his word about the important things? That depends on his character and the strength of your marriage. And it might take a shared lifetime to find out.</div> <div class="body-el-text standard-body-el-text"> But does he want the happy Hollywood ending? Yeah.</div> </div> </div> </div>

You want to know the truth? Guys lie -- occasionally, compulsively, desperately. We certainly don't have a monopoly on lying, and...

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